It’s May 2001. I’m back home in New Jersey. I’m still depressed. Damnit. This is brutal. I connect with one of my best friends from high school, Lee. We join the YMCA and motivate each other to exercise. I lift weights and go for long runs. I’m still full of confusion and insecurity, but my depression lifts. THANK GOD. As trite as it may sound, exercise is one of the best ways to get out of a depression. The thing is, when somebody is depressed the last thing they want to do is exercise. It’s super challenging to get going, but it’s worth it. Still, I’m certainly not totally out of the woods. The only thing that equals my confusion and insecurity is my denial. I’m not a mentally ill person. No way. That’s not me. That can’t be me. Let’s just ignore it.
By mid-July, I decide it’s time for me to try what I’ve always wanted to try: Stand up comedy. I’m 20 years old. I go to the Upper West Side of Manhattan with Lee and my other buddy, Joe. I do a spot at an open mic at the Indigo Bar. It goes well enough that I decide to pursue comedy for the rest of my life. I really do think that the word ‘pursue’ is accurate because finding success (both creatively and professionally) in comedy is incredibly challenging, elusive and ephemeral. It’s a never ending pursuit. So yeah, the first shows that I do are open mics in New York. Then, I return to the University of Michigan, enrolled, in the Fall. I split my time between school and doing stand up open mics in Ann Arbor and the greater Metropolitan Detroit Area. I’m not good. But I’m not the worst.
I discover Bill Hicks. Therefore, for a year, I want to be Bill Hicks. Next, I discover Mitch Hedberg. Therefore, for two years, I want to be a combination of Bill Hicks and Mitch Hedberg. I fail at this. Still, I’m not the worst. Any given Tuesday that I get on the list, I perform at the Heidelberg Bar. Any given Wednesday that I get on the list, I perform at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase, my first home club. I love performing. I love the community of comedians. We’re all figuring it out. It’s fun. I get through the entire year without having a manic episode. Next, it’s off to Ireland for my junior year where I study abroad at Trinity College Dublin. Insanity ensues. We’ll start that chapter next week.
This week’s audio clip at the top is a track off of my 2013 album ‘Live From Outer Space Vol. 8.’ The bit is called, ‘No Coffee, Tea, Soda, or Chocolate.’ Enjoy!
Love,
JFOD
(Note: Go to jfodnews.com to read parts one through five.)
My First Manic Episode (Part Six)